One Week Until Race Day

Hey Kids,

This is my first post since New Years eve, so it might run a tad long. Here we go...

 First off, congratulations to us all for surviving this snarling hell-bitch of a Winter. I never thought I would actually get sick of snow days, but lo and behold, here I am, telling Winter to her unfeeling, dead-eyed, fat fucking face that she can stay right the hell in Bob Ross paintings where she belongs.

 "Actually, Jeff, I say she can fuck off too. From now on, titanium white will only be used on clouds."

Since, as I said in my last entry, my training during the week this Winter/Spring would be done exclusively in the morning before work, there were a lot of excruciatingly cold morning runs (and a commensurate amount of swearing). On a positive note, this probably did help toughen me up mentally for the race.

It also led to my invention of the snow-hawk.  

Anyway, I did have a bit of a training setback in January. I had a little achilles tendon trouble, which is really annoying because it temporarily compromised my ability to run on hills, and running on hills is kind of my thing. Fortunately, I was smart about it, and I kept a small injury from becoming a big injury. I think at most I took off three consecutive days, and I was back up to full speed by mid-February. I have been working with Coach Mike again this season, and while I don't think I have the same number of miles or obsessive hill repeats under my belt that I had at this time last year, I am definitely a lot faster and have done a lot more race-specific long runs. 

I have only raced once this season, the Rumspringa 13.1 in Adamstown, Pennsylvania, on April 6th. It starts and finishes in the Stoudtsburg Village, right next to the Stoudts Brewery, and I have historically run well in races where I know there is a brewery at the finish. I had originally planned on running the Caesar Rodney Half Marathon on March 23rd in Wilmington, Delaware, but I wanted a little more training time before I tried to race again, and the Rumspringa 13.1 also seemed a bit more Blue Ridge Marathon-relevant, since it is a very hilly course. I wasn't really sure what to expect from myself, fitness-wise, going into it, so I was really surprised when I went through the first mile in what I thought would be around 5:30, but ended up being 4:55. Granted, there was some downhill in the first mile, but it still definitely didn't feel like I was moving that fast. I was also by myself by that point, so the rest of the race became about simply trying to maintain a constant effort over constantly changing inclines. Incidentally, this race (if you couldn't tell by the name) took place in Amish country, and it took place while a lot of the Amish were on their way to church, so I got to run against some very heavy horse-and-buggy traffic. They all seemed just as amused as we were at the sight of a bunch of people in short shorts running at them. There was a lot of smiling and waving from the people in the buggies, as well as the kids on bicycles. The race director apologized about it afterward, but I thought it made it more fun, and I told him he should use it as a selling point in the future (with the Amish community's consent, of course). Anyway, I went through ten miles in 54:35 without feeling especially taxed, and then I felt really strong over the last, mostly uphill, 5K to finish in 1:12:30, which was a course record by just under eight minutes. On a flat course, I think this would probably have been at or under 1:09:00. At the finish line, there was freshly-made bratwurst ("awesome sausage," as the lady serving me called it) and German potato salad. Then the party moved across the parking lot to the Stoudts Brewery. There, we of course had sweet, sweet post-race beer. There was also a lot of traditional German dancing, followed by the awards ceremony. It was here that I received the most epic, non-bear-related, trophy I have ever received: an authentic, hand-made German cuckoo clock. 

I can't wait to hang it on the wall and watch it scare the shit out of the beagle when it chimes. 

It also has a godmother named Jen, who lives in Redbank, New Jersey. This was because she was standing behind me at the awards ceremony, and after I received the clock, I put my hand on her shoulder, looked her in the eye and said, "Can I trust you to watch my cuckoo clock while I get another beer?" She said yes, did so successfully, and I told her that she was now the godmother of my cuckoo clock. So that happened. 

Anyway, upon reporting the race results to Coach Mike, he said that before the race he thought I was in PR shape, and the race confirmed it. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this, as I really didn't feel like I was as fast as I was in November, especially since I had been training for a full marathon instead of a half. This gave me a huge boost in confidence over my last couple weeks of training. My long runs and tempo runs have gone really well, and I think I'm definitely in shape to run BRM faster than I ran it last year. I am of course tapering now, so there is the usual, probably obnoxious, level of hyperactivity that goes along with it. The number of beagle-related songs I make up and sing around the house per day is up by around 60%. 

"Oh,  for fuck's sake."

Ultimately, I'm really excited to head to Roanoke next weekend. I think after another week of rest (relatively speaking, since I'm still running every day between now and then), I will really be ready to run well. Also, since Jeannine and I are getting married in December, and our families have never met before, we thought this would be a good opportunity for them to meet, since her parents live in Delaware and the race takes place in Southwestern Virginia, just a couple of hours from where my family lives. Her dad signed up for the Blue Ridge Half Marathon, so her parents will be making the trek to Roanoke, as will some of my family, which will be cool since many of them have never seen me run before. 

So I suppose the next entry I write will be my race report for the Blue Ridge Marathon weekend. Good luck to everyone running Blue Ridge next weekend, as well as Boston this coming Monday (this year's Boston Marathon will have 9,000 more runners than last year, because fuck you, terrorists). See you guys on the other side.

And if someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

Cheers,

Jeff

1,549 Doughnuts That I Now Regret Not Eating (my 2013 running year)

Hey Kids,

First off, since I am not reporting on any particular race, there are not really any new running-related pictures to post. However, I didn't want to have a text-only blog post. As such, this entry will be interspersed with pictures that I think are funny or maybe you'll think are funny, or because reasons.

Such as proof that Jeannine and I shouldn't be allowed in public. This wasn't set up at the Christmas Village. We made it at home. Probably.  

Anyway, as 2013 draws to a close, I'm looking back on what was, I believe, overall a pretty good year for my running. I had a few victories (Virginia Creeper Marathon, Blue Ridge Marathon, Dogfish Dash 10K-all course records), a few PR's (Dogfish Dash 10K, Philadelphia Half Marathon), and I finally adhered to my goal of actually maintaining an online training log. This website is also where I got the title to this post, since it converts miles run to calories, and thus into things like, "doughnuts burned," "televisions powered," and "gas saved." I also got to run in my sixth Blue Ridge Relay, where my team FINALLY WON THE FUCKING VAN DECORATING CONTEST!

Victory never tasted so sweet.

There were also some failures this year. I had my first ever DNF at the Delaware Marathon, where I had to withdraw at Mile 19 because what had been a nagging toe pain started to become excruciating, and I felt like continuing would have maybe sidelined me for months. Withdrawing when I did allowed me to only have to take a day or two off. Then, at the Finger Lakes 50K a couple of months later, I had to withdraw around 25 miles in for the same thing. I went to a podiatrist, got everything looked at, and more or less solved the problem. This was one of the reasons that I decided my Fall race should be a half marathon rather than a full marathon.

But then I got to wear a kilt to a wedding two weeks later, so I count that as a win. 

I ended up running around 3,400 miles this year (which is apparently around 1,550 doughnuts). My lowest month was 198 miles (March, in which I ran the Virginia Creeper Marathon), and my highest month was 452 miles (August, in which I busted my ass).

And this is my friend Kelly. He is #18 on Buzzfeed's list of 32 People Who Absolutely Nailed It in 2013.

 Looking forward, there will be some changes in the coming training cycle which I hope will be advantageous. For one, I have decided that, at least between now and the Blue Ridge Marathon, during the week, I will do my running exclusively in the morning. This is different from the past in that I will only run once a day and that my hard workouts will mostly be run before the sun comes up. As terrible as that sounds, let me tell you, it can't be worse than having to do a hard workout after a long workday. This Fall, things got a bit dark (figuratively and literally) when I would have to begin a hard track workout at 8:00pm after being on my feet for 11 hours and then be back out the door running a medium-long run (usually 13 miles) seven hours later. And since I am planning on writing and submitting my thesis proposal this Spring, having my running out of the way by 6:30 or 7:00am is a good thing. I do plan on continuing to work with Coach Mike. We only worked together for the two months leading up the the Philly Half, and I was definitely fitter, faster, and more prepared than I would have been on my own, and probably more so than I have ever been. I'm anxious to see what happens with more training time and for the full marathon distance.

Running Goals for 2014:
-Run at least 4,000 miles. I had some very solid months in 2013. I also had some lackluster months, largely impacted by my work schedule. If I get in all of my scheduled mileage before work, this can be averted. Also, by running fewer long races, there will be less tapering and less recovering, so I can keep my training at a more consistent volume.
-PR at the half-marathon, 10K, 15K, and marathon. Yes, ideally, these would be the goals for every runner every year, but I think that this year, given my schedule and my current fitness and plan, I can actually achieve this if I can stay free of injury.
-ACTUALLY stick to doing regular core work. This has been a hard one for me to stick to in the past. I have a pretty bulky upper body for a long distance runner, so it's hard for me to make time for exercise that is not exclusively running. To inspire me to do core work, I will watch this video of Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks.

"Bruce Lee Playing Ping Pong with Nunchucks" Badass is the only thing in my ranking system that rivals "Theodore Roosevelt Being Shot in the Chest and Finishing his Speech" Badass. 

Alright, well I believe that's all I have for now. If there's something I forgot, I can report on the other side of midnight tomorrow. 

Have a Happy New Year!

Jeff 

Philadelphia Half Marathon and my 2014 BRM contest winner

Hey kids,

It's been fairly eventful couple of weeks since my last entry. I ran my Fall goal race (the Philadelphia Half Marathon) and selected the winner for my 2014 Blue Ridge Marathon free entry contest.

The Contest
As I have been saying for the last several months, I would eventually be hosting a giveaway for free entry into the 2014 Blue Ridge Marathon. That contest began a little over two weeks ago. After compiling the entries, I selected the winner in the most scientific way I knew how: I put each entry on a separate sheet of paper, and then selected a winner at random from a top hat that I stole from a country club in 2009.

Dr. Peter Venkman- unimpressed at how long it took me to actually find a use for this hat.

The winner of my contest was Peter Morgan, currently residing in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. He and I have had numerous seemingly-random encounters over the years. He first taught my Environmental Science merit badge class at Camp Davy Crockett in Tennessee, circa 1998. Shortly thereafter, I discovered that he actually lived in my hometown of Abingdon, Virginia, and even attended my high school girlfriend's church. Then, a couple of months ago, when I was running on Forbidden Drive near my apartment while wearing my Abingdon Football t-shirt (which I call my Miracle Shirt, since I've had it for around 15 years, have run literally hundreds of miles in it, and it still looks practically new), he flagged me down and asked if I was the guy that, "won the marathon in Roanoke." I recognized him right around the time he told me his name. Ultimately, his name was the one that I pulled out of the hat. This pleased me, largely because his entries were hilarious (see link to contest blog entry above). Anyway, he has confirmed to me that he will be running the double marathon event. I have confirmed to him that I will be running the "single marathon followed by setting up shop at the beer truck" event. Congratulations, Peter!

Philadelphia Half Marathon

In my entire running history, this was the first time that I had ever trained for a half marathon specifically. It largely stemmed from both the foot trouble that I had earlier this year and my overall need to just get faster. My training runs got all the way up to 18 miles, which was surprising to me, but I felt good about the faster workouts I had done over the last couple of months, as well as my handful of 10K-15K races. My only concern going into the race was that in the couple of weeks leading up to it, I was putting in a lot of long hours at work on my feet, and my legs felt sluggish and heavy. In the week leading up to a big race, ideally, of course, your legs feel life returning to them as you run less to rest up after months of abusing them. I felt no such return of life, and my concern for them was compounded when, on my last easy four-mile run the day before the race, my legs just felt like shit. They were really tight and sluggish and not what I wanted to be feeling after months of 5:00am and 8:00pm runs, both usually in the dark. I put on compression socks and stayed off my feet the best I could for the rest of the day and night and hoped that the months I had spent teaching my legs to rapidly recover would pay off. Since Meghan lives in Center City within walking distance of the start/finish line, Jeannine and I engaged in what has now become our Philly Marathon weekend tradition: We go to Meghan's, I walk to pick up my race packet, she makes us dinner, and Meghan and Jeannine do arts and crafts for the race the next morning. 

They did not disappoint. 

I ended up getting a really good night of sleep, waking up in time to have some coffee and do some reading, and get to the starting line with plenty of time to spare. I walked outside, and the first thing I thought was that the weather was perfect. I walked to the start/finish area, jogged around a bit, and then tried to get in line for the bathroom. This was a disaster. I stood in line for 20 minutes, and it literally moved less than ten feet. Realizing I would not get there in time, I tried to find a bathroom elsewhere with no luck. This means that in my time normally devoted to using the bathroom or warming up, I got to do neither. Seeing that the race was about to start, I just had to basically say, "Fuck it. Either this goes well or it doesn't." And so, with my cold-ish legs and my unsure stomach, the air horns blew to start the race, and I proceeded to throw myself down the Benjamin Franklin Parkway in excess of 11 miles an hour.  Since my goal pace was 5:20 per mile,  my coach gave me specific instructions to go through the first mile at no faster than 5:20, maybe even 5:25. Naturally, I went through in 5:11 (dammit!). It definitely felt like I was moving, but it felt manageable. Any anxiety I may have felt was made somehow both better and worse by the fact that some of the mile markers were either inaccurate or had inaccurate clocks attached to them. They said that I went through two miles in around 11:10 (way slower than I was actually going) and six miles in around 29:45 (way faster than I was actually going). The middle miles went back through Center City, and there were a lot of screaming spectators lining the streets, which was great. I saw Jeannine and Meghan twice, which was a nice pick-me-up amid what felt to me like a pretty aggressive pace. There were a handful of runners near me, and we would take turns leading one another. We were probably in the 18th to 25th place range, with a big pack probably 30 seconds to a minute ahead of us, and then a couple of guys out front at sub-five-minute pace. Maybe not out of my league in a couple of years, but definitely right now. At around 8.5 miles, the cheers started to get louder, and I was quite sure that it wasn't because I suddenly became more awesome to look at. Just as I suspected, the lead pack of the full marathon started to catch up to me. We ended up running together from around mile marker nine to around mile 11. As we made the hairpin turn onto River Rd, I had the inside of the turn and had to make sure that I didn't elbow any of the tiny African guys surrounding me in the face. Once we made that turn, I took back off ahead of them and tried to make a strong drive over the last two miles. I was more or less right on pace to break 1:10, which was my goal. I tried to stay on the inside of the turns and run the shortest distance possible. As I passed the 13 mile marker, I got to hear the announcer incorrectly pronounce Bryn Mawr (it's pronounced brin mahr and he pronounced it brine mahr). Once the clock came into view, I saw it said 1:09:forty-something, and I started sprinting. I ended up finishing in 1:09:55, five seconds under my goal time. Especially given how bad my legs felt the day before, I was really happy with the time.

My stomach was quick to let me know that if this had been a 14 mile race, I would have enjoyed no such success. I found Jeannine and Meghan quickly (unlike last year, when I had to borrow a police officer's mobile phone), and shortly thereafter found Valerie's parents, whom I had met when she and I did the Philly Triathlon relay this past June. Valerie was also running the half, and she was due to finish at around 9:30. We all spoke for a few minutes as I put on my normal post-race attire (compression socks, sandals, and Wolf Hills Brewing Co. hat). Val finished in around 2:04:00, with which she seemed pleased. We met her at the "family reunion" station where meeting places are arranged by last name, and made lunch plans that involved, for me at least, a lot of beer and meat and fried things. We then waited for Jeannine's cousin Claire to finish running the half as well. We found her siblings Tom and Sandra, who ran Run the Bridge along with me two weeks prior, and we all waited together. Claire finished in a little over three hours, and seemed elated to be finished, and maybe even more elated that we were all waiting for her at the end. We got to recount this in greater detail when she, Sandra, and Valerie all came to our apartment to watch the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary episode the following weekend. Meghan, Jeannine, Valerie, and I went on to get lunch at Perch's Pub. We all had burgers. We all had beers. Happiness ensued. 

Anyway, I've been taking it easy since then. I've done quite a bit of easy trail running. Typically, my running group, the Manayunk Running Club, which is a subset of the Bryn Mawr Running Club, will see me for a few minutes on sporadic Tuesdays and Thursdays, at which point I usually show up late (thanks to my work), do my own workout, then leave immediately after while everyone else hangs out for a beer or two. I decided that the Tuesday after the race, I would make sure to be able to join them for beers and burgers. We all went to Kildare's in Manayunk for happy hour, and I got to feel like not the least fun person in the world for once, which was nice.
As for training I will consider myself "in training" again on December 1st. At that point, I will finally be training for the Blue Ridge Marathon specifically. This means that I will basically spend all of December running a lot of miles and hills. Then, in January, I will start doing focused speed work. For right now, my stomach is still hoping to return to normal size after Thanksgiving. You know who's really healthy? Future Jeff! That guy will sort it out! Now, time for leftovers!

Have fun,
Jeff

2014 Blue Ridge Marathon FREE entry giveaway

Hey kids,

At long last, it is my turn to host the giveaway for free entry into the 2014 Blue Ridge Marathon.

For those not privy, here are some of the details about the race:

The race takes place on Saturday, April 26, 2014. There is a total of 7,234 feet of elevation change. The course starts and finishes in Roanoke, Virginia. The course goes over three mountains, as well as many other hills that are small by comparison, but would be considered enormous if they were part of any other course. Thus, the tagline for this race is, "America's Toughest Road Marathon." The course records are 2:39:48 (male, full), 3:19:27 (female, full), 1:20:06 (male, half), and 1:29:17 (female, half).

HOW TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY FOR FREE ENTRY:

 Buy me beer.

In the Comments section of this post,  answer the following: If someone wrote a song to play as the background music of your Blue Ridge Marathon training montage, what would the title be???

 For additional entries, you may share this contest on Twitter, making sure to include the link to this post, my Twitter handle (@bubbicus), and the hashtag #RunBlueRidge. Each day on which you do this will be counted as a separate entry.

 All entries must be in by 11:59pm on Sunday, November 17, 2013, and the winner will be announced early next week.

Alright, go forth! I hope to see you next year at the finish line!

Jeff

Delaware Distance Classic, Run the Bridge, and Operation Chocolate Piranha Hurricane

Hey Kids,

It's been a little over a month since I've posted, so there's a decent amount to cover. Let's jump right in.

Delaware Distance Classic: The Delaware Distance Classic is a 15K race that traverses the riverfront of Wilmington, Delaware. It's mostly a flat course, so there is a potential to run some fast times. On this particular day, however, there was some pretty deceptive humidity afoot. The race starts and finishes outside of Frawley Stadium, home of the Delaware Blue Rocks.

"Come on in. We have Dogfish Head on tap."

A pack of four of us ran together for the first few miles. We hit the two mile mark in around 10:30, and it actually felt faster than the week before at the Dogfish Dash, when I hit the two mile mark in 10:10. I thought it just might not be my day. The legs were feeling heavy, probably due to both the training volume I had been maintaining and from the Dogfish Dash seven days prior. I backed off of the pace a little and let the other three get a little distance on me in hopes that they would wilt in the later miles. I was treated to no such opportunity. The first two guys ended up battling until the last half mile, when Graham, a runner from Baltimore, broke away from Darryl, who won last year's race. The third place runner, Joseph, another Bryn Mawr runner, got about 15 seconds ahead of me and then basically stayed there the entire race. There was one ambiguous turn that probably cost me three seconds, which would be more or less of no consequence except that I ended up finishing in 50:00.0. DAMMIT! Anyway, I ended up fourth and won my age group, so that's not so bad. Jeannine's parents live in Wilmington, and there was tax-free beer waiting at their house, so the remainder of the Sunday was delicious. 

Run the Bridge: This is a 10K that begins on the Camden, New Jersey, side of the Ben Franklin Bridge, goes over the bridge to the Philly side (but not actually into Philly), goes back over the bridge, and then weaves through Camden, before ending up at Campbell Field, home of the Camden Riversharks. 

It was just like this, except there were no baseball players and it was cold as balls. 

It was around 35 degrees at start time and really windy. It was hard to determine what kind of pace I should run in the early miles because the first 5K, which was on the bridge, was basically, "giant uphill, giant downhill, repeat." It was actually pretty cool running on the bridge, it just wasn't conducive to finding a rhythm. When the race started, there was a pack of about 15 of us that took off on the uphill. Once we crested the first hill, there was a pack of around eight who then proceeded to really take off. I hung back because, well, those guys were hauling ass, and I didn't have much of a choice. I figured I might finish in the 31:00 to 31:30 range, and these guys were going much faster than that. Anyway, case in point for how hard it was to determine a good pace, I went through the one mile mark in around 5:25 and the two mile mark in well under 10:00. Once I got off the bridge and hit Camden for the last 5K, the wind immediately let me know that the remaining flat part of the race would still be not much fun. There were a few really long straightaways that were into the wind the whole way, and they made that whole 31:00-31:30 thing seem less probable. Over the last half mile or so, I heard the footsteps of the person behind me get louder, so I picked it up to hold him off and ended up doing so successfully, finishing two seconds ahead of him. I later found out that he was the same guy who finished immediately behind me in the Delaware Distance Classic. Anyway, I finished 12th overall in 32:25. I was not so much disappointed with the placing, especially since the top five guys broke 30 minutes. Maybe in a year or two for me, but not yet.  This race drew runners from all up and down the east coast, many of whom run professionally. I did think I would run faster though. Coach Mike says I should be happy with my time as it fits into the context of preparing for my goal race (the Philadelphia Half Marathon on November 17th), so I'll go with that. I think my goal for next year is to be able to take off with that lead pack once we crest the first incline of the bridge.

 Also running the race was my lab mate and friend Anna (who was too elusive to be photographed), and Jeannine's cousins Sandra and Tom. Jeannine and our dog, Dr. Peter Venkman, hung out immediately outside the stadium, kept each other warm, and were, as usual, incredibly patient and supportive. 

Not pictured: Dr. Peter Venkman's dignity

Tom, Sandra, and Anna all hit their goal times and seemed to have a lot of fun. I think we are all planning on running it again next year. 

Run the Bridge was also on the same day as the New York Marathon. This year, for the first time in 20 years, it was on national television. This was also coincidentally the first year that I have ever had DVR. This means I got to come home (after sleeping in my own bed the night before a race, mind you), crack a beer, overeat, and watch the New York Marathon on my own television on my own time. It made a nice epilogue to Run the Bridge, and both the men's and women's races ended up being very compelling. An interesting footnote: Graham, the first place finisher at the Delaware Distance Classic, appeared on national television running his final strides of the NYC Marathon. He wasn't mentioned by name or anything, but I recognized him largely thanks to his wearing the same bright orange singlet he wore during DDC. 

Operation Chocolate Piranha Hurricane: Muahahahaha! This was the code name for my master scheme to propose to Jeannine. There was a short list of people who were in on it, many of whom have appeared on this blog before. Namely, my now battle-tested Blue Ridge Relay teammate, triathlete, and friend, Valerie; Uncle Mike, who found out about it during the pre-Dogfish Dash dinner while Jeannine was away from the table ("Fuckin' A right, man! Welcome to the family!"); and my Chief Accomplice, Meghan. Meghan actually went with me to buy the ring. Then we ate nachos at Moriarty's, when I was supposedly "working in the lab" on a Sunday. Subterfuge! Jeannine would later say of the subterfuge that occurred during the Dogfish Dash weekend, "I WAS RIDING IN A MINIVAN OF LIES!" Anyway,  I popped the question on October 4th at the Victor Cafe. It's an incredible Italian place where all of the staff are opera singers, and every evening there is punctuated by periodic arias. It is both Jeannine's favorite place in Philly and the place where her grandparents got engaged. It's also where Uncle Mike and his wife, Aunt Vanessa, had their engagement party, I do believe. Then she said, "Yes," and there were cannolis. 

Suck it, Falls Church!

There were also a few bystanders who took pictures of the event and sent them to me, which was really nice.

Anyway, I'm now in what you might consider taper mode. The Philadelphia Half Marathon (and full Marathon as well, of course) is in eight days, so I have a couple of shorter, fast workouts between now and then, and then it's time to go. 

I'll post next week after the race to say how it went. For those interested in running the Blue Ridge Marathon next year, I will be hosting a free entry giveaway on this blog in the very near future. So stay tuned... because free shit is cool.

Have Fun,

Jeff

Dogfish Dash!

Imagine, my friends, an event that revolves around two of your most favorite things. If, for instance, there was an event that explored the intersection of medieval weaponry and bears, Jeannine would make sure that she and I were there, without exception, annually. For me,  I might choose an event that revolves around the sublime pursuits of long distance running and craft beer. Fortunately for me, I happened to discover, more or less by accident, that such an event does exist! And nearby! Last year, I just happened to be online at the time the registration opened for the DOGFISH DASH. I saw it mentioned on some social media outlet, and I signed up without hesitation.

[Also, if anyone knows of any medieval weapon/bear events, please leave your email address or a link to the event in the Comments section. Thanks!]

Turns out Google image didn't even really have my back on this one. Still, you should read the Redwall books. If anything, they'll make you want to host a feast.

Despite the fact that we had to make the two-hour drive to the the brewery in Milton, DE, from Wilmington, DE, on the morning of the race (yes, I too was surprised that one could actually drive for two hours and still be in Delaware), we had a great time. Race entry also bought me three post-race beers. And GOOD beers, mind you! None of this Michelob Ultra shit (looking at you, Delaware Marathon! For shame!). There was the 60-Minute IPA (a Dogfish staple), a couple of others, and my go-to Dogfish Head beer, the Indian Brown Ale. Spectators could also purchase bracelets for $5 that got them three beers. All proceeds went to the Delaware Chapter of the Nature Conservancy, and we all lived happily until 2013.

I mean, we're still living happily, I just thought this was a nice photo  of me and Jeannine, and wanted to include it. 

This year, the race was supposed to sell out within an hour of registration opening, and I had recruited two shiny, new cadets: Meghan (Jeannine's cousin) and Uncle Mike (Jeannine's uncle, whom I also call Uncle Mike).

The race offers 5K and 10K options, so Meghan and Uncle Mike went with the 5K, and I opted to run the 10K again (I won it last year, and I've never won a race two years in a row, so why not give it a shot?). Since the race was supposed to sell out so quickly, we all basically had an agreement along the lines of, "whoever gets in first registers the others." Fortunately, it worked, because we all got in despite the race filling up in 35 minutes.

"Suck it, Falls Church!"

One of Meghan's friends from work happened to have a beach house in Rehoboth Beach that no one was occupying the night before the race, so the four of us were able to stay there (for this, among other reasons, we had to leave our dog, Dr. Peter Venkman, with Jeannine's parents). Our closeness to the brewery (20min) combined with a start time one hour later than last year, meant that we got to sleep until 6:30am, versus 4:00am for me last year. I actually felt like a human being the morning of a race!
We had picked up our race packets the night before at the Dogfish brewpub in Rehoboth, along with having more-or-less race-conducive amounts of food and beer, and thus didn't have to worry about it on race morning. We got to the race with a lot of time to spare. I warmed up (and was berated by Meghan for doing so), and we were off and running at 9:00am sharp. This was my first real solo race since this past August, in which I busted my ass training, so I expected to run pretty well. I was lighter, faster, and more focused, than I was last year, and probably more than I have been before. When I went through the first mile in 5:00 flat, I had over a :30 lead on the next person (according to people yelling on the side of the course), and while it didn't feel slow, it felt plenty manageable.  There were two cyclists in front of me, one for the 10K leader and one for the 5K leader. They knew by the color of my bib (10K runners wear green and 5K runners wear white) that I was a 10K runner, so the 10K biker told me to just stick with him. Honestly, until I started overlapping with 5K runners, I didn't really see anyone else for the rest of the race. I settled into a nice rhythm and basically enjoyed being out front in the perfect weather. I went through four miles in 20:48 (5:12 per mile), and my finishing time of 32:13 (1:01 faster than last year) was also 5:12 per mile. I felt really strong at the finish, which is encouraging for this coming Sunday's Delaware Distance Classic 15K, which typically draws some fast competition.

"Beer tent!!!"

Meghan and Uncle Mike both did really well, and Meghan finished 2nd in her age group!

"Suck it, Falls Church!"

Also, for those who are unfamiliar with the story, The Beer Runner himself, Tim Cigelske, is finishing up his streak of drinking at least one beer and running at least one mile every day for the last three years. He and I have communicated online since last year, and we finally got to meet for the first time at this event, his last weekend of the streak. You can find his retelling of the Dogfish Dash, and how his wife, Jess, was kindly enough to not go into labor here. Anyway, he was every bit as nice and genuine as I had expected, and we had a gift exchange of sorts. He gave me a "BEER RUNNER" synthetic running shirt, and I gave him a 1-liter growler from my hometown brewery, Wolf Hills Brewing. He also introduced me to fellow beer runner Lee Movic, who rocked the Vibram Five Fingers hard. 

Not pictured: wine runners. Still sleeping probably. [scoffs]

After the awards ceremony, in which I found out that I broke the world record in the 10K (the announcer read my 4-mile split as my finish time), we went back to the beach house, showered, and, sans Meghan (she had to get back to Philly), had lunch at the Dogfish brewpub, wherein we now didn't have to be as cautious as we did the night before about what we consumed (I had three beers and the Indulgence Burger). Also, at the gift shop, we got Dr. Peter Venkman a sweet new collar.

"Yes, but does it come with pork chops?"

Anyway, as for me, I was fortunate enough to be able to take Monday off of work, so I feel like I have recovered famously. I got almost 15 miles in this morning before 6:30, I have one track workout on Thursday, and then I have the Delaware Distance Classic 15K on Sunday morning. The transition into working with Coach Mike has been pretty easy so far. It's basically been, "we're going to take the ass-busting you've done, and someone who know's what they're doing is going to channel it." And so far, I'm feeling really good about it. 

My next report will probably be around this time next week, since I have the race on Sunday. Also, for those interested in running the Blue Ridge Marathon next year, stay tuned, because at some point in the near future, this blog will be hosting a giveaway for free entry... and free shit is cool. Anyway, you kids have fun.

Jeff

Blue Ridge Relay or: How the Judges Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Spaceballs

Hey kids,

Just to give you fair warning, this will be a long entry. Then again, the Blue Ridge Relay is a long race. Let's just dig right in...

For those who are unfamiliar with the race, it is a 208-mile shit storm of steeply undulating mountain roads that starts in Grayson Highlands State Park in southwestern Virginia and then winds its way through the Blue Ridge Mountains before dumping its achy, sleep-deprived sojourners into the quirky, beer-infused mountain oasis that is Asheville, North Carolina. It is divided into 36 segments (legs) ranging from two to ten miles in length and ranging in difficulty from "easy" to "mountain goat hard" (BRR's words, not mine). Ideally, each team has 12 people who each run three legs, and these runners are divided into two vans that essentially leapfrog each other six legs at a time. During each van's "non-active" time, the runners in that van can sleep, get food, and so forth. BRR is hands-down my favorite race. This was my sixth time running it, and I have now officially run half of the legs. I recently decided that, eventually, when I have run all of the legs, I will get a BRR-inspired tattoo that Jeannine will hopefully design. Our team, "Ludicrous Speed," has a Spaceballs theme, and we always go all-out decorating the vans. Each year, our van receives great adoration from many of the other runners and other people we encounter on our journey. We never seem to receive this adoration from the judges of the van decorating competition, however, as historically, none of them has ever seen Spaceballs (and thus, presumably, are under 21, over 60, and/or hate freedom).

Anyway, Ludicrous Speed is a Richmond-based team that I have run with since I was an undergrad at Virginia Commonwealth University, even though I now live in Philadelphia. This year, largely thanks to Richmonders dropping out at the last minute, there were three of us joining from Pennsylvania. There was me, my friend Valerie, who works in the lab next to mine at Temple University's medical campus and with whom I did a triathlon relay this past June (and not to mention engaged in many an impassioned discussion about Doctor Who and Downton Abbey), and her friend from back home (York, PA) Ashley (now my friend as well, of course). Thursday morning before the race, the three of us carpooled in my tiny white Chevy Aveo (his name is Stay Puft) to meet with the rest of the team in Richmond, and then venture to southwest Virginia in the vans. We departed Richmond at around 3:30 Thursday afternoon drove nonstop to our dinner location, Macado's in Salem, VA. Despite the number of home brewers/beer enthusiasts among us, we all managed to abstain from alcohol and have sensible-ish pre-race meals. After another hour-and-a-half or so on the road, we arrived at our hotel in Marion, VA (incidentally a half hour from my home town of Abingdon, and the town where I played my last high school football game). We all got to bed at a decent hour and were pretty well-rested for our 10:30 start time. I got up at 5:00 and got a couple of miles in since it would be mid-to-late afternoon when I would run my first leg, and I had become so accustomed to running twice a day over the last month and a half or so. We began the van decorating at 7:30 and were on the road to Grayson Highlands by 8:30. We went though the usual t-shirt pick-up and took the traditional Start line photo.

Left to right: Ashley, Jaclyn, Valerie, Carrie, Amber, Mike, Carena, Glenn, Karen, Jimbo, Kevin, me

Since the vans leapfrog each other, and since the race is over 200 damn miles long, I won't go into much detail for all of the legs, unless I feel it is warranted. My apologies to Glenn, Amber, Carrie, and Karen, as I pretty much never got to see you run, and thus have no observations to report. But ass-kicking o'plenty, I'm sure!

THE RACE STARTS HERE:

Mike started us off with a fun (I would know, as I ran it the last two years) predominantly downhill four mile leg. He handed off to The Glenn, and this was basically the last I saw of Van 1 until Jimbo (the last runner from their van) handed off the slap bracelet (seriously) to Jaclyn (the first runner from our van) at Bald Mountain Baptist Church, which is known mainly for having an awesome swing set. Jaclyn easily powered through her 5.3-mile leg and handed off to me. I had a 4.6-mile "easy" leg which had a couple of steep-ish hills, and I ended up feeling pretty good averaging 5:13/mile. I handed off to Carena, who, bless her, was comfortable enough just holding out her wrist and letting me slap the bracelet onto it rather than letting me hand it to her. She ran her mostly flat leg along the river (not sure which river) with no complications (except that it was getting hot, and that leg can get pretty monotonous). She handed off to Valerie, who was dealt a rough hand for her first ever BRR leg. Eight-plus miles of giant hills plus a major highway crossing were sure to break her in properly. She had to hand off to Kevin, and fortunately, thanks to his stretching, she knew exactly where to go.

"KEVIN! WHICH WAY IS THE EXCHANGE ZONE???"

His leg took him onto the Blue Ridge Parkway, where vans are not allowed to roam, so we had to take an alternate route and meet him at the exchange zone where he hands off to Ashley, who then began her own, um, fateful journey onto the Blue Ridge Parkway. 

I will now briefly summarize the gross negligence on behalf of whoever was in charge of race logistics: Basically, each team is required to submit a predicted pace based on each runner's 10K road race times. Apparently, out of 158 teams, even though we submitted the same pace that we have submitted every year thus far, this pace now placed us among the top teams (faster teams start later, and we did NOT start amongst our peers, but started out way over our head; this year, our peers were all shifted to earlier times, but not us, for reasons we don't understand). Anyway, by the end of Kevin's leg/beginning of Ashley's leg, we were in or near last place, even though we were at the same point in the race that we always have been in the past for that time of day. So basically, we decided that rather than run the entire remainder of the course by ourselves (since the "race officials" were already picking up course markers even though Ashley had not made it to those turns yet), we decided that we would just skip a few legs and accept the commensurate time penalty so that we would not have to get a dozen people lost in the fucking mountains alone after dark. Fortunately, it ended up being the right decision. All but three of us ran our night legs. I ran my "7.6 miles-very hard" leg, which had some pretty tough uphill, and quite a bit of downhill, and I ended up averaging 6:12/mi. Not my best work, but I caught three other teams, so I'll take it. Once we finally handed off to Van 1 for the last time, we did our best to make a bee-line for the exchange zone where they would hand back off to us. Those of us who had run BRR before knew that this was the exchange zone with churches that included both pancake breakfasts and sanctuaries that allow runners to sleep in silence on cushioned pews. While I was driving there, I was so sleep-deprived that it was taking all of the energy I had to not go cross-eyed, and my trusty navigator, Kevin, was slipping in and out of consciousness. 

Upon finally arriving at the church, I parked the van, got out without looking at anyone, and simply said, "I'm going into the church to sleep for two hours."   

And I did just that. 

And it was exactly what I needed. After that two hours of sleep on that pew, I felt GREAT. I awoke to find Kevin chowing down on the pancake breakfast,and the rest of my van unconscious. Phone service was sporadic throughout the journey, and especially so during this phase of the relay. We were in a deep damned valley. Fortunately, a text or two from Van 1 got through, and we knew, give or take a half hour, when Jaclyn would need to be ready for her "mountain goat hard" leg. It is basically 1.5 miles of level ground, wherein one gets to anticipate the incipient five miles of relentless uphill switchbacks. This is actually the beginning of the most fun part of the relay (not for Jaclyn yet, of course). Van 2 is on its third run and finishing up the relay, while Van 1 is completely finished and is now, for the first time, accompanying Van 2, cheering the whole way. While my van semi-followed Jaclyn up the mountain (both she and the police did not want us or any other van to stop and observe her running), we embarked on my self-appointed "the van's final run" tradition: I pulled up Michael Jackson on the iPod and blasted it loud. It is always amazing to observe how many people toiling up a mountain have their outlook turned around and find a second wind via "Billie Jean." Anyway, I was the next runner, so we had to get up the mountain so that I could suit up and run down. Jaclyn, not surprisingly, though she may tell you otherwise, looked perfectly relaxed and composed as she completed the final segment of her colossal ascent. It was now time for me to run my leg. Now, my leg (the first half goes down to -7%, and the second half is -2% on average) is basically 9.5 miles of having the same relationship with gravity that one might have with dessert on Thanksgiving or with Jagermeister on, well, any godforsaken occasion where one might drink Jagermeister. 

"Gravity, you were kind of a dick when I wanted to play basketball in middle school, but I guess  we're cool now."

The people I know in the past who have run this leg have started out loving it, and by the end have hated running downhill so much that they swear it off forever (or at least, like, a week or so- it's a geography-sensitive thing).  Fortunately for me, I had recently done a SHITLOAD of downhill running, and ended up being even more ready than I realized to handle the descent. I planned on running the leg in 57 minutes due to the inevitable wear and tear on my legs, so I was stunned to find myself at the "exchange zone" sign ten minutes earlier than I had planned. Over the 9.5 miles of ever-decreasing levels of descent, I ended up passing a total of 22 other teams and finishing in 47:30, averaging exactly 5:00/mile. I was surprised at the time, and even more surprised at how good I felt at the end (and perhaps EVEN MORE surprised that after all of that, Carena still stuck her wrist out and trusted me to accurately slap the bracelet onto it). After that, I happily reported my time and overtakings to the team, then stuck my feet in the nearby creek for a couple of minutes, and it felt incredible. We then had to hop back into the van to meet Carena, who was currently traversing BRR's one other "mountain goat hard" leg. She, just like Jaclyn, made it look easy, and came through the exchange zone with that now-quite-familiar "energized, but so relieved to be finished" look. It was now Valerie's turn for her final BRR leg. The difficulty with this leg is typically not with the geography, but more with the temperature. During this leg, it is always hot, and this year was no exception. Unsurprisingly, Valerie handled the heat without complication, and it was time to once again hand off to Kevin, who was by now quite accustomed to his reflective vest (a requirement for running on the Parkway). He crushed his insanely difficult ascent, and then, at long last, it was time to hand off to Ashley for the last time, so that she could begin her triumphant descent into Asheville. Both vans had to, during her leg, find our ways into Asheville, find parking, and be there at the Finish line. We were able to do this with time to spare (despite my pissing off a cop by driving into the police station parking lot in the wrong direction).  We were then able to position ourselves at the final straightaway to cross the Finish line with her. 

HERE ENDETH THE RACE

Not pictured: alibi we would have had to concoct if there were fewer than 12 people in this photograph. 

From this point on, it is all about the party. Our tradition in years past has been to get a few beers somewhere, check into the hotel and shower, then get dinner at Mellow Mushroom, where we then swap war stories over pizzas and pitchers of local beer. This year was no exception. For the immediate post-race beer, we actually went to the Mellow Mushroom as well, where a few people ordered some appetizers, and all of us simply enjoyed being finished. I snacked on a couple of appetizers, which was the first time I had had non-granola bar/bagel-type food in over a day. I also had tasty tasty local beers which made me feel especially good considering my teetotaling, 452-mile August, in which I lost both tolerance and weight. It was at this post-race celebration that I learned that I had inspired the other van to engage in one of my favorite post-run rituals: SHOWER BEER. For those unfamiliar, it's exactly what it sounds like. You drink a beer while you're in the shower. It's just... just magical. Last year, upon checking into the hotel, I went directly to the hotel bar and got a beer for myself and a beer for Jeannine (who unfortunately couldn't make it this year), and I told the team that I was going to drink it in the shower. Upon hearing that this year so many other people were adopting the practice, Jeannine and I decided via text that I am aspiring to be the Carl Sagan of shower beer.  

This makes my annual pilgrimage that much more meaningful. 

After checking into the hotel, showering, and reconvening at the hotel bar, we headed back to the Mellow Mushroom for dinner and pitchers. It was, as it is every year, the perfect way to end the difficult journey. We left Mellow Mushroom, headed back to the hotel, and some of us had a "Blue Ridge Relay: After Hours" bar session before going to our rooms to sleep HARD. The next day, we drove our still-decorated vans back to Richmond (we always get funny looks on the highway), and then Valerie, Ashley, and I got back into Stay Puft and made our way back to PA. Fortunately, the weather, both for driving and for running, was PERFECT all weekend long, and traffic was even great both ways. 

EPILOGUE

I'm not sure about everyone else, but Valerie and I were both in the fortunate position wherein we could take the following Monday off of work. I got to sleep in and then hit the trails for about an hour and half with, for the first time in a month and a half, no training goal. I got to just run because I felt like running (Forrest Gump jokes will be greeted with contempt). We found out the following week, that this year, the first year in which not a single member of our team attended the awards ceremony, that finally, FINALLY, we had won the van decorating contest. SWEET, SWEET VALIDATION! As for my running now, I have recently started working with a coach, Mike McKeeman, the winner of the 2012 Philadelphia Marathon, and 2-time Olympic Trials qualifier. As such, I am forgoing the trail series in the park behind my apartment, and my next race will be the Dogfish Dash on September 29th, followed by the Delaware Distance Classic 15K on October 6th. The relay, and preparation for the relay, have acted well to further my preparation for the Blue Ridge Marathon. 

Speaking of which (segue high-five!), for those interested in gaining free entry into the 2014 Blue Ridge Marathon, I will be hosting a giveaway on this blog in the near future. So stay tuned... because free shit is cool. 

My next entry will most likely be my report of the Dogfish Dash. For those in the Philly area, this weather is perfect, so if you can manage it, drink beer outdoors.

Have fun,

Jeff